well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
