i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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