I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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