guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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