I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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