Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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