Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
