Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
