he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think I just sharted jello shots
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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