it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
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