i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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