If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
