Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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