Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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