So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
