The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We just shotgunned beers for America
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
