She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My bed smells like the plague
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
