"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
