I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize