Kiss
Puke
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize