Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize