ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
