it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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