The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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