How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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