Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
