She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
