It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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