Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
