At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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