Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
