yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
