I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
