you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
