I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
