I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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