I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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