My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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