Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
