I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she looked like the before picture.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
