she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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