How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
