Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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