I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
