the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you still have your period?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
