i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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