just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
