hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
