if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
