dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
