I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
