I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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