flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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