Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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