So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
