i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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