no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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