The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
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There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Never joke about your clitoris.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize