nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize