Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
