plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
