Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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