check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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