I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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